Negative Space

324 / 365 / Negative Space

Confession: I DO NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DECORATE ROOMS ON MY OWN WITHOUT HELP. It pains me to say that. After “he” left 8 years ago and then took some signature pieces, I have been in a design and decorating holding pattern. And I must admit that it is because “he” had a really good eye for design and I was so emotionally unraveled, I had no vision. I also have to admit that building this house was not my dream and I had no vision of what my life was supposed to be at that time. I was in survival mode. To then become a Mother, fail in marriage, go through two mental health challenges, muddle through having #Sarcoidosis, and still try to live… I have made no serious room in my brain or on my calendar to redecorate this house. Like most Black American Women, I have made due with what’s left and what’s broken. Like I have been saying all throughout this year, I just realized that I have been duct taping my life since the divorce and now some things just ain’t working. 

Whew…. well. That was cathartic. 

Shout out to my beautiful, honest and comical friend (#Giftcard) who said to me… “You’re not a minimalist. I think your a maximalist.” That was a nice way to say yo’ ass is a junky ass hippy and it shows Erica. And she is right. She’s been with me through the divorce and the self-rebuild, I ain’t done shhhhhh to seriously redecorate and I will NOT paint my walls. I detest it and I don’t know why, but I have feature walls. Go figure. I also have expensive taste, but I don’t have enough money. I want Cartier design on a Target budget. 😂😂😂😂😂 Why am I like this Lord? Fix me, Jesus.

Lastly, I am keenly aware that having “negative space” is a form of privilege. You have space in your dwelling where some people have no dwelling at all, or they are in a situation where multiple generations are on top of each other in an apartment to survive. I am keenly aware. Why? I grew up in poverty on the #Southside of #Chicago. I know what it is like to sleep on a pullout bed on one side of the dining room and have to fold it back up when company comes over. I know what it is like to sleep in a non-insulated enclosed back porch in the cold of a #Chicago winter and you wake up and there is the hint of frost on your toys. I also know what it is like to be in a tiny one room studio after your Mom passes away and everything you own sits in one long closet and you just sit in those four walls and pretend to be okay.

There is not a day I don’t wake up now and thank God for pulling me through. I never thought I would live in a home this nice. I fought really hard to keep my home after my divorce. (That’s a whole ‘nother conversation. Okay. Alright.) So I know that the negative, junky, badly decorated spaces masquerading as my “Inner Hippy Unintentional Art Display” is a pure, unadulterated Blessing for a little, hard-headed but determined Black American girl from the Southside of Chicago. 

Now, I present to you my library or some would call it a “receiving room” which also doubles as my kid’s home gym for online PE. This space is filled with books we have read, some small pieces of art, and my hand carved wooden armoire filled with my favorite vinyl. I call this collection “Negative Space Upfront”. Enjoy. (Go look at this post on Instagram for a better presentation –> https://www.instagram.com/p/CH21ne4JQxy/?igshid=p9tg55ze44ox)

If any budding Black designers wants to e-design this room, around the pieces I am clinging to, for their portfolios, in a trade scenario, please email me. Clearly, I need inspiration.