Why open the “Bubble”?

Disclaimer: Albeit I’ve been seeking self-actualization since I was 25, I’ve had some major set backs in my evolution. I’ve not always made the best decisions, but I do hold myself accountable. So I’m back on the wagon to self-actualization and I know it is a lot of work. The conceptualization of my own internal work of self-love is messy and illogical. You have been warned.

Emotionally, I live in a bubble. Over the decades I have built and dismantled this bubble many times over. I also consider myself a woman isolated on an island. So I’m on an island and in a bubble. I come out of my bubble and off my island on rare occasions. Sometimes people find me on my island and I open up the bubble.

I created my bubble because I was emotionally abused during my childhood and adolescent years. I felt misunderstood constantly. As a young person, I was aware that my humanity was being over looked and my needs were not being met. I had to process adult dysfunction and prioritize it over my own humanity to survive. In addition to cultivating my own survival instincts and fashioning this protective bubble, I had to navigate not letting my soul be chipped away by colorism (inside my family and externally), sexism, classism and general anti-Blackness. So in a radical act of self-love and self-preservation, I designed and built the “bubble”.

The bubble is my safe space. It is where I get to be as weird and quirky as I want to be. I get to be free to exist as I am, unapologetically. I get to smile, love, laugh, dance, be sexual, cry, ponder, create, and most of all evolve / grow.

Photo by Susanne Jutzeler on Pexels.com

So how does the bubble open? Why does the bubble ever open?

I open the bubble for opportunities to grow. I open the bubble for opportunities to connect with souls that I recognize to be like mine. I open the bubble when I’m deeply moved to comfort and encourage others through acts of kindness.

There comes a time when you open the bubble because people challenge your fear of connection. There are those whose warmth, kindness, and emotional authenticity challenges and seemingly out weighs all the times you’ve been lied to, cheated on, mistreated, and maligned. Some people come up to the bubble and they patiently sit on the other side and engage you as though there is no bubble at all. Their company is refreshing like a beautiful summer breeze. It’s a whisper in the wind that is quiet, serene and it flows to you without any obstruction. They are the types of friends, lovers, or even business liaisons who could sit still in a room with you, say nothing for hours, but being in each other’s presence would still be a substantially kind human interaction.

And that’s why I open the bubble, for authentic, substantial, human interaction. We all deserve to feel alive by letting our humanity be touched by good people.