Dear Sarcoidosis, I am not trying to wake you

It’s happened. I have had a leg cramp since Tuesday and last night, I got the worse sleep I have had during the pandemic.

Now, I panic.

Why?

I don’t want to awake the giant that runs my nervous system, my lymphatic system and my immune system. You know her by the name of Sarcoidosis.

My leg was already in agony. I was controlling everything with ibuprofen. Inflammation is the name of the game, so ibuprofen is like a kind of kryptonite. I just needed to maintain until Monday. First thing Monday, I see the doctor.

Then last night happened.

Puppy barking incessantly since 235am CDT. I get up to check on puppy. Bad move. My leg goes into overdrive. I apparently missed an ibuprofen dosage. I missed an icy hot dosage. I’m limping. It’s not cute. I feel broken.

I get back into bed and he barks from 3am CDT until 7am CDT. I am tossing and turning. I do sleep for 2hrs, but in the wrong position. Now everything hurts. Every thing feels inflamed. And I am scared shitless. I don’t want to trigger a super flare while I am on meds. It will be too hard on my body.

That’s what living with Sarcoidosis is like… being in fear of your own immune system. And I am on meds. I take my meds religiously. However, I know what a flare feels like and I never want to feel it again. Ever.

So right now. I am trying to write out the fear and come up with an action plan to stabilize my mind and my body. Like I need to have a stress free morning and just get my body to a place of normalcy, even if my leg is causing me sheer havoc.

Welcome to the world of Sarcoidosis, where a leg cramp and bad night sleep can put you into a blind ass panic.

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