When the stress gets to you

Stress.

It’s a killer of many Black Americans.

When the stress gets to you, what do you do? I started noticing my reactions to stress when I was a teenager. I would shut myself in the bathroom to catch a breath and to stop my stomach from writhing in agony.

Even in my 20s, I would be doubled over in pain at night whenever I was stressed and worried. For years, I thought I had an ulcer.

My body doesn’t handle stress well. When in internalizes stress, my entire nervous system starts to riot. …. So this doesn’t bode well because I have #Sarcoidoisis. I think about my body being chronically inflamed all the time. The meds work, but I am sure it is not a perfect science to quell all the inflammation. And in this stage of my life, while I try to actively and honestly manage my Sarc — I try not to stress too much.

I said I try.

Clearly with the pandemic, the many murders of Black Americans by police, trying to avoid dying of COVID19, trying to keep my kid safe as we venture back to school, and trying to keep a job in this economy… ummm I am uber stressed.

That’s why I am up at 0557hrs CDT writing.

My stomach is writhing in pain. I cannot stop my mind from churning away thoughts about everything, including the kitchen sink.

What a way to wake up on a Monday morning… in physical pain because my soul is in unrest.