Information Overload

Yes, yes, yes. I’m writing about COVID-19 again. I ain’t got nothing else to do besides work, be a personal chef to my Future CEO and fuss the dogs. Oh and continue ordering a ridiculous number of canned Black Beans.

At this point now, I’m just grateful to be alive and in touch with my support system on a daily basis. I don’t know “which way is up” and “who shot John”. The days are starting to blend together and I’m sat here wondering why the COVID-19 death numbers for Black Chicagoans are so f’ing off the meter.

That pushed me to my breaking point last night. To address the disparity, a lot of rhetoric was put forth on how Black Chicagoans have underlying health issues. Yeah? Well, does anyone want to examine the medical apartheid that Black Chicagoans have experienced since the Great Migration. Does anyone want to examine how Black Chicagoans feel they can only get equitable and fair healthcare from a Black American Woman doctor? Do we want to talk about how racism is OVERWHELMINGLY PREVALENT in healthcare in Chicago? Nah. We want to talk about how fat, stressed, unhealthy Black people are…

I guess that’s to justify letting them die because many people in the healthcare profession including other non Black American “People of Color” and some Black American don’t value Black American life.

So there’s that mindf***.

Then there are the white conservatives in my social circles that are convinced that this has been brought on by 5G technology or that the Illuminati released the virus. Conspiracy video after conspiracy video after conspiracy post. Good Lord, I see how that Pumpkin Nutbag got elected. Some of y’all so called conservatives are dumber than rocks covered in donkey shhhhh.

All the while I’m reading tweets about people’s loved ones dying in the hospital, yet all these celebrities are getting tested and they have the means and the money to “ride it out” and make a miraculous recovery. Yet, the boots on the ground are exposing themselves everyday in the hospital, in the grocery stores – and what about their families? Don’t they deserve to make miraculous recoveries if they contract the virus? This society is topsy-turvy in how it values American life and this virus has exposed that clearly.

I try and filter out the bullshit by trying to find credible news sources, but who can I trust at this point. Who is telling the truth? CNN, BBC America, BBC News, Reuters, MSNBC… who damnit?

It’s all so very hazy.

So I’m here with my anxiety and depression, just overloaded with information and sorting through what’s right and wrong so I can make the best decisions for me and my family.

I’m trying to make decisions to keep us alive.