This year’s Valentine’s holiday was sooooooooooooooooooooooo revealing. I started it with Galentine’s the day before and that was fabulous. My Galentine’s ended at breakfast with a long time friend on Valentine’s Day. However, in tandem at the very start of Valentine’s Day I was feeling great, but then my DMs / inbox just turned into an entire sack of shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Well, men who devalue my humanity made superfluous attempts to procure quasi or faux-romantic favor via text and messenger. IT WAS THE MOST INSULTING, DEGRADING ACTS OF MARGINALIZATION I’VE EXPERIENCED SINCE MY 20’S IN CORPORATE AMERICA OR IN MY 30’S AS I DEALT WITH FEELING RACIAL ERASURE IN ENGLAND.
Honey, I’m 46.
Soooooo, you mean to tell me y’all ain’t evolved as men since the 1990’s? Is that what your emotional ineptitude is eluding to in the year of our Lord, 2020? Help me understand.
Let me back track. I’m a single, divorced, working Mother who has had a great career in the past and I’ve traveled the world. Regular-schemgular, I am not. Currently, I work exceedingly hard to be a loving, engaged, evolved, understanding Mother. My Motherhood is my number one priority and I balance this with a monster daily commute, having Sarcoidosis, evolving into social erasure as a middle-aged Black American woman, grappling with failed relationships and then my desire to stay creative through social media based extracurricular projects.
Honey, I’m layered. AF.
So how awful is it — that a man that wants to engage me romantically (allegedly) insults my intelligence as a way to get my attention on Valentine’s Day? By what right do you have to send me sexual innuendos, but not actually type the words “Happy Valentine’s Day”. What does that say? It says to me that you don’t value me and that I’m only good for objectification. More so, it says you think I’m not even worthy of an intelligent, adult conversation – by electronic means???? Who raised you? F’ing emotional inept savages.
Perhaps I expect too much. Oh me, I expect for someone in their 40’s like me to be able to hold a decent conversation. Oh me, I expect for someone in their 40’s to be somewhat self actualized enough to extend empathy, respect and kindness through prose. Is that too much? I expect an adult to engage as an adult and not like a under-developed teenager. I expected adults to engage without insulting my gotdamn intelligence every time they hop into my inbox.
How petulant is it that a 40+ person cannot engage on a level that is substantive, on a level that makes a real connection, they liaise and engage as though they are 17 yrs old and courting an bad socialized Instagram model. Go away. Stop ruining my inbox with your childish ass dribble.
Word to the wise, single, working Mothers deserve so much better than what you are giving right now!!! These SuperMoms are worthy of love, kindness, generosity, engagement, communication from someone with substance, moral fiber, patience and most of all some type of decent emotional intelligence quotient. All that y’all are giving is trash ass canned responses you think make you look like a man, but it makes your broken manhood a f’ing joke.
DO BETTER. CLOWNS.
OH AND HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.