I loved my Momma…

As Mother’s Day looms, a picture of my mother and I that was shared on Instagram popped up in my Facebook Memories. In true #FeelKazistan fashion, I started to cry.

I loved my Momma.
We weren’t very close.

In a lot of ways, she didn’t understand me. I don’t play Black respectability politics and she judged me because my Blackness wasn’t like hers – also I am kind of a wild and untethered soul.  Yet, in a lot of ways once she realized I was meant to be unleashed on the world as I am… she loved me as best as she could, she let me be free and sometimes she sat back and enjoyed watching me fly.

… but I can say now as a mother and a woman that has (pardon my slang) – been through some “thangs” …She gave me her best. She had nothing really, but she made something and gave it to me – when she could.

… And I’m a proper Badass Woman & Mother because of her …

In her words:  “Never play small. If you are going to play, play with the big boys and never look back.”

May you rest in peace and power Areather. You deserve peace and all the joy heaven can bestow upon you. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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“... Whether it be on my death bed or when I am long gone, you will finally realize that I loved you. You will understand why I said what I said and why I did what I did. " - (my moms) >>> My Mom and I did NOT get along. Everything went down hill when my parents divorced including our relationship. I loved my mother dearly (as you do) and she loved me (as mother's do)... But, well... We didn't see eye to eye... on ...well... Everything. Or so I thought. Then on my 21st birthday she told me that I had become more than she had hoped for. She told me that she liked the woman I had become and her job was done. 2 weeks later she died. And now as a divorced Mom (like my mom) I am more like her everyday. I am resourceful, loving, hard working, I cuss at the stove when no one is looking, if I can fix it with a screw driver... It's fixed... But most of all I put my child first and I know the beauty and the worth of self-sacrifice for it will be the foundation in which my child becomes an awesome mother like me and like my mom. I also know she did the best with what she had with the knowledge she had... And when she had the chance and knew better, she did better. I hope she likes the Mom I have become. I feel I am a good mother because of the sacrifices she made caring for me as best she could. Rest In Power Ma!!!!! 💖💞💕💗⭐ #MommyFab #EfabulousHB #FabWorld #mothersday2016 #mothersday #themeyestho #wecanlookthroughtoyoursoul

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