There is just some shhhh I don’t want to know about you!…


There is just some shit I don’t want to know about you! PERIOD.

Many of you know me as #MommyFab or #EfabulousHB, however a lot of you didn’t know that I’m the Supreme Chancellor aka CEO / Director behind #TalkativeMedia. For the last 6 years I have ran a very small but very knowledgeable social media management company. However, for the last 9 years I have been studying social media and albeit I am self-taught, I am amazingly adept at the field itself.

I’ve turned the TICKER OFF in my Facebook interface and it has probably saved 95.7642% of my relationships with human beings at this time, because there is just some shhhhh I don’t want to know about you. Seriously.

The Facebook app has the ticker feature on the desktop. Most of you have not disabled it, if you don’t use it then learn more about it here:

Firstly let me state that a very beautiful, wise friend of mine once told me something I never gave two coins about…. Self-discipline- when it comes to absorbing information about other people! She told me “You may be privy to some knowledge, but that doesn’t mean you have to consume it.”

My first issue with the ticker started 2yrs ago when I liked a guy. Like most nerdy girls, when you like a guy… just his name can be a “turn on”, right. So when his name popped up on the ticker, I was naturally curious. It gave me a “real time” account of what he was liking and commenting on. I didn’t necessarily think this was cool or that it sucked. I was just technically intrigued. Because it made me privy to things he didn’t necessarily share with me.

As he was liking various pictures, I noticed the women looked NOTHING LIKE ME. And bing, bang, boom… I AM NOW VERY UNEASY. Now I’m thinking if you are liking the hell out of these BBW(s) and my narrow ass is the flattest ass this side of the Mississippi River, then you cannot truly desire me sexually. I told myself …. I’m a pit stop. I mean he was liking the hell out of all these big bootie, video vixen, long weaved, label loving chicks…. And I’m so far that image that I’m in another galaxy where sexy, wanton, intelligent, nerd goddess look down on planet earth while studying algorithms and eating grapes. Soon, I was JUDGING THE EVER LIVING F*** OUT OF HIM AND HIS DESIRES.   No Bueno.

This eroded my desires for him COMPLETELY. Eventually I disengaged.

I left the ticker on. At that point, I should have turned it off. But I didn’t.

A client of mine is also my acquaintance on Facebook. I had no issue with it, until I started seeing her name on the gotdamn ticker. I saw the posts she was commenting on and pictures she was liking …. And there was that judgmental, uneasy feeling again. All the ghetto posts (and I’m hardly one to talk as my taste in humor is absolutely f’ing macabre to say the least) she liked were making me dislike her more, and more and more. At some point, I felt myself losing respect for her because she was not who she said she was … her real time social media actions versus the ethos of her mission statement were not inline. I was completely disengaged again with this person because I was again privy to some things that I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PRIVY TO….

After seeing some more sketchy acquaintances and their alternative, eclectic musings, I turned that shhhhhh off.

And you are thinking… why Efab! Why does this matter? It matters because for a lot of us social media is now ingrained as a level / facet of our personal relationships and business relationships. What someone does on social media now becomes a part of their personal curriculum vitae privately and often times publicly. I’m really on Facebook for business and a few key friends. I don’t want to know that much about you. I realize there is a divine process and intrinsic value in actually GETTING TO KNOW THE PERSON THAT THE PERSON IS WILLING TO LET YOU SEE. {Read that again because really mature people will get that!!!!}  I want to know people organically. I don’t consider the News Feed ticker on Facebook part of the process. Often time a person’s real time musings on Facebook is just a confirmation of what you suspected about the person all along.

Judging is a deity’s game and I don’t sit high enough to judge, nor do I want to. It’s exhausting work. I think for my own sanity and to process healthy emotions, turning off the ticker was the best shhhhhhh I could have ever done on Facebook. Carry on with all your f*ckery and foolishness because everything you do in the dark will come to light anyway. It always does.

… But I will wait for the universe to reveal it.

#MommyFab #EfabulousHB #Facebook #PersonalRelationships #DoNotJudge #FacebookTicker #People #SocialMedia #SocialMediaHabits