#TheAhaMoments … The first time I felt “peace” in my home was when I conceded to get my divorce. I had fought the good fight. I tried and tried to save my marriage, but it was for naught. There was nothing more I could do. I sent the little one with her dad and his new family. I remember being alone in my home with the dogs. As she pulled away waving, I cried and cried and cried…. as I do, because I cry a lot. Then I turned around and all I heard was the echo of a calming silence. There was no more yelling. There was no more hurt feelings. There was no more nights of being rejected, feeling isolated or alone. I was alone now with just the fallen rapture of what I thought was forever. Then I prayed for “peace”. I sat down on the sofa and I starred out into the garden. I sipped some water and I just quietly sat there meditating, peacefully. I sipped all my water. I turned off all the lights and I went to sleep. Peaceful sleep. I was comforted by the silence because even though I was mourning the lost of my desired future, I was actually no longer hurting daily by loving someone and being emotionally estranged and lost.

Peace is the theme of my home. There is a tenderness and fragility when you enter. My house is like a very chaotic warm hug. You know you are welcome and there is kindness here. I never want it to filled with pain, confusion, estrangement and rejection again.